Consultations – the art of listening

Once you have finally got that all important appointment with your potential bride and groom you need to start thinking about how you are going to conduct yourself in the consultation. This is where alot of consultants fall down. Why? Well a consultation isn’t so much about talking it’s about listening. And I mean you doing the listening and them doing the talking. I know that sounds strange and yes, this is about them interviewing you as much as you interviewing them, but you need to learn how to listen. Talk to any good sales person and they will tell you the same thing – the art of the sale is in the power of the listening. I like to call this the 70/30 rule – you listen 70% of the time and talk for 30%.

So I can hear some of you asking – how do I get them talking? The answer to that is simple. Ask lots of open-ended questions. 

• How did you meet?
• Tell me about the proposal
• What do you enjoy doing?

These questions are great ice-breakers and will get your bride and groom a little bit more relaxed. Most people can talk about themselves. If you are still finding it hard, another great question that will usually help to break down any barriers is ‘Tell me about your ideal wedding – the one where budget isn’t an issue.’  Try to avoid asking WHY? This puts people on a defensive and can be very confronting.

The art of listening is one that is developed over time, but there are some very important rules that should be followed. Firstly, never interrupt. If you have asked a question let your bride or groom answer it. Don’t be tempted to interrupt with tidbits of information. Leave this information for when it is your time to talk. Secondly, learn to listen actively. It is important for your bride and groom to know you’re listening, so you need to indicate that you are attentive and understand what they are trying to say to you.

The more you listen the easier your questioning will be. If you pay attention and listen to what your bride and groom are telling you they will do all the hard work for you. If you are clever you can ask questions based around the information they have given you. This then makes them feel as though you understand them and their needs. If they have told you that the wedding will be small and intimate with only 20 guests who all live close by, don’t then ask them if they will have any interstate guests that need to be accommodated. Just because it is on your consultation sheet doesn’t mean that you have to ask the question.

Once you have finished chatting to them about their wedding and what they want out of their day then you can talk about yourself. Keep it short and sweet though. Tell them what you have accomplished and let them have some examples of other satisfied clients, but do not drone on for half an hour. If you have conducted the first half of the consultation properly you shouldn’t need to do too much more.

“Effective questioning brings insight, which fuels curiosity, which cultivates wisdom.” — Chip Bell